Updated – There is no role of destiny in your happiness. It is you who have to do to be happy. Being materialistic doesn’t guarantee a happy life but, being social, having satisfaction at work and close relationship can do a lot for you.
According to research, your happiness is inherited. Sonja Lyubomirsky, the author of ‘The How of Happiness’, says, “50 per cent of our happiness levels are genetically determined, 40 percent are subject to self control and 10 per cent are determined by circumstances.”
In order to be happy, you need to avoid yourself to some don’ts. So, go through this content of Secret to Happiness and set your own path of happiness.
Do not hold ill-will
A Delhi-based clinical psychiatrist, Dr Vandana Tara, says, ‘In all probability, the person concerned will go on with life while you nurture ill-will. This bitterness could leave you physically and mentally ill’. In simple words, keep yourself away from resentment, anger and antagonism. You will be able to be happy.
Do not compare yourself with others
Comparing with other smarter or successful and more attractive people leads to hatred. Keller says, ‘Comparing is a battle, a fight. If you were to look back on your life, you don’t want to think you’ve wasted your time on it’. So, it would be better for you to stop comparing with others. Just compete with yourself. Look good in yourself.
Do not ignore your family and pals
Recent studies have proven that being with your spouse and family members along with friends makes you happier. Daniel Glibert, Harvard happiness expert, says, ‘We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.’ It means you should be social and spend times with your close ones to bring happiness in your life.
Do not look outwards
Looking for external sources of happiness can interrupt your peace. Dr Aymee Coget, San Francisco based happiness expert, says, ‘Focus on controlling your emotional state by choosing happiness and adopting positive psychology principles, build your resilience, follow your heart and meditate into the greatest states of bliss’.
Do not ill-treat yourself
Eat healthy, have a sound sleep at night and exercise daily. Taking exercises regularly keeps you healthy, enhances your personality and improves your brain functionality. So, treat yourself in a better way to bring happiness in your life.
Don’t go into past life
It is good to learn from the past but it is essential to live in the present. Coget says, ‘It is our nature to dwell on past events, especially negatives. We need six positives for our brain to overcome what happened in the past. Training our mind to live in the moment — a sink-or-swim skill — is the way to happiness.’
Do not be frightened
You should not think about what may happen or what may not happen. Take your first step to turn your dream into reality. Do not wait for a happy day when everything comes to you. Just get to start.
Do not be unthankful
Your satisfaction level increases when you will be grateful to what you are and what you have. Make a list of things that come in your way and you are grateful for. Keller says, ‘We all don’t have things that we want, so it’s easy to be negative. Soon, this emotion seeps into our subconscious and takes over our minds.’